


Heaven sent, Hell bound

by IsisKitsune



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Aziraphale's True Form (Good Omens), Cannon Events, Condoms, Crowley's True Form (Good Omens), Desire, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Het and Slash, M/M, Missing Scene, Multi, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Snapshot style, Spitroasting, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Sex, angel and demon through the years, blink and you'll miss the others, femdom if you blink, revolves around Aziraphale and Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:48:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22457494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsisKitsune/pseuds/IsisKitsune
Summary: Demon and Angel, never the two shall join...The companionship, of sorts, was instant. Two beings of (at least once) divine creation, standing on the wall of Eden, watching the humans take their first plunge of defiance. “Would be a bit funny, wouldn't it? If you did the bad thing and I did the good one.”Absent nodding before the reality sunk in, “No! No it wouldn't...” his first assignment involving humans, and he (probably) had already mucked it up royally.“Yeah, a Demon could get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing,” his venom-eyed companion bit at his lip as he watched Adam protecting his mate and offspring from an attacker, effectively ending the beast and providing for his family. Thinking, perhaps it wasn't all that 'good' of a thing to do. He's already ended another...
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Heaven sent, Hell bound

**Author's Note:**

> *** cannon is cannon until the very end scenes, Aziraphale never caught the last prophecy Agnes had left for them***

Demon and Angel, never the two shall join...

The companionship, of sorts, was instant. Two beings of (at least once) divine creation, standing on the wall of Eden, watching the humans take their first plunge of defiance. “Would be a bit funny, wouldn't it? If you did the bad thing and I did the good one.”

Absent nodding before the reality sunk in, “No! No it wouldn't...” his first assignment involving humans, and he (probably) had already mucked it up royally.

“Yeah, a Demon could get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing,” his venom-eyed companion bit at his lip as he watched Adam protecting his mate and offspring from an attacker, effectively ending the beast and providing for his family. Thinking, perhaps it wasn't all that 'good' of a thing to do. He's already ended another...

“I should, get to patching the wall... She isn't going to be too happy about it being open. She cast them out, you know, never to return.”

“Why even have something 'forbidden' so close? Why not, I don't know, outside of Eden at the very least, or the Moon? I mean, humans will never get that far away!”

Black wings jerked softly at the loud crack overhead, shuffling closer to the other, unsure the cause or effect of such new sounds. “Her plans are, ineffable.”

“Ineffable?”

A white wing lifted up automatically when the Demon shifted closer as the water started falling, “It can not be known.”

“Bloody great plan, a plan is designed to be known for Satan's sake... it's how everyone involved knows their part and doesn't flub it up, like now. Adam and Eve, exiled and Eve is ready to burst with their unborn.”

“It, in some way, has to be in the plan, otherwise you never would have snuck past me.”

“I didn't sneak past you, Angel, I dug my way straight up. Exhausting, but effective.”

“There's, a nice little willow tree, just a bit away from here, we could wait out the rain. You could show me where you dug in, given I need to patch the holes before- reporting back for... reassignment, I suppose.”

“Al-alright,” a black wing lifted away from the sheltering white wing, once he was certain the water wouldn't cause him harm he dropped down into the garden to follow the Angel.

-

The Demon's eyes looked so sad when the Angel relayed God's decree, “Everyone?”

“I don't believe She's angry with the Chinese... or-”

Venom eyes settled on a goat, lead by a child and he gasped, “Kids? Come on, you can't kill kids!”

If he didn't read people so well, he wouldn't have known the Angel looked to be about to tear up, “Mhm.”

“This, can't be part of the plan.”

“You- didn't hear it from me, but there are, rumors- She's clearing the area because of, indiscretions on... our part.”

“Us?”

“Angels. There's rumored to be a very, odd collection here. Nephilim they're called. Angels, procreating with humans.”

“Come now, are you telling me you lot are actually stupid enough to procreate rather than just- enjoy yourself and move on?”

“It's not the offspring's fault for what they are, this is... heart breaking.”

“Should just punish the Angel that brought it about. Honestly, I've Fallen for less.”

“You- Fell, for less than procreating with humans?”

“There were no humans yet, when I Fell, Angel. I just- asked questions, that's all I ever really did. Couldn't figure out why She'd make such beings in the first place if She was going to dictate every aspect of their lives or punish them for going off script. They'd just be, a weak variation of Angels if She did.”

“They have free will, we don't.”

“Right, we don't... which is why we've had a rebellion, and you're standing next to me instead of smiting me, and I'm the one wondering why for heaven's sake you lot are wiping out an entire area of the world!”

“It's, ineffable.”

“Bloody well is...” Both tilted their heads upward when the rain started to fall, “Best be on my way then. No point tempting 4 humans in an over sized row boat.”

The Angel winced, “There's more than 4, whether or not that was permitted, I suppose we'll have to wait and see.”

“Angel, you suppose anyone would know if,” venomous eyes were watching the young child herding her little goat back to its stable, “I mean, taking a few children is Evil, right?”

“I- suppose it would be,” the Angel's eyes lit up for a moment before he shook his head and his mood fell, “No, you can't, no one can be saved from this, they- they're all marked by heaven.”

“Wouldn't be 'saving' if they were taken, though, right?” The Demon shrugged, “Besides, most might just take the children into slavery of some kind if they were to just, appear in some far away land... They might even give me a reward for such a wicked act, downstairs I mean.”

“Crawly you can't just- take children, it's... Evil.”

“Exactly, Angel, pure Evil.” Venom-eyes lit up when the Angel turned away from him, pushing back through the crowd. “See no Evil, aye, Angel?”

“If I see a wile, I thwart it, if I see no wile, I can not thwart it.”

-

Oysters weren't so bad, though they slithered their way down like nothing the Demon had yet tried. “See, wonderful, aren't they?”

Aziraphale was smiling as he drizzled something, perhaps vinegar, before downing his own. “They aren't that bad.”

“They have this, annoying little side effect though... Usually those eating them get rather, affectionate. Easily ignored though.”

That got the Demon blinking, “Oh, do they now?”

“Yes, well, Angels are forbid to procreate with humans, after the whole...” Aziraphale sighed, looking forlorn, “So, nothing can come of it.”

“Who says it'd have to be a female you'd have to partake in? Or, who would say it'd have to be in a way procreation could occur? There are plenty of, shall we say, pleasurable places and things to explore with a human form.”

Aziraphale just rolled his eyes as he hummed as he ate another, “What are you going on about, Demon?”

“Well, we don't have to involve a human at all, honestly.”

Aziraphale's eyes widened, “Do you know what would happen if we- no, never-”

“Why not, could be fun.”

“Crowley, do you realize what would happen, to me- to you? An Angel, an Ethereal being, and a Demon- Anything, any part of my- emissions, would act like a Blessing, a cleansing of sorts, why do you think the Nephilim were wiped out by God's decree. No Angel could be the one to cut them down because their life was Blessed.”

“A Demon, Blessed by an Angel,” Crowley smirked.

“It wouldn't be Blessing in the way it would to humans... it would- be worse than a Priest Blessing you, Crowley. That's why- even, touch alone is risking harm to you.”

“Could, have a middle man, or woman.” Crowley shrugged as he smiled at one of the workers taking interest in them. “Oh, imagine the night they'd have.”

Aziraphale was honestly debating cursing the Roman's choice in clothing when he felt himself swelling beneath his covering, “We, can't.”

“Why not? I know of a little place, they perform some of the most, enjoyable acts mankind has come up with. Think of it, burying yourself somewhere nice and warm, feeling it milking you... The press of lipsss,” Aziraphale's eyes started darkening as Crowley smirked, flicking the tip of his forked tongue out. “It'sss exquisite.”

“We can't risk procreation.”

“No worriesss Angel, I know how to keep myself in check. Come along.” Aziraphale stumbled when Crowley's arm slung over his shoulder and pulled him up, “Sssso, man or woman?”

“We can't risk procreation, Crowley!”

“Doesn't mean you can't enjoy a woman, Angel. It just means spilling into her mouth or ass.” Crowley smirked, “Might even Bless her with a better life than the one she has.”

“You- what?”

“She has completely pulled the wall over your eyes, Angel. There are many more ways to enjoy pleasure than just, sticking your cock into a woman's place...”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale hissed as he was pulled through a curtain.

“We'd like to enjoy a nicely formed and experienced woman, please. Preferably one that can take suitors from both holes. My friend here has a fear of children but wants to experience a woman with me.”

“You're lucky, we have a very well qualified woman in today. She enjoys multiples.”

“Perfect, which room?”

Aziraphale gulped as the host lead them to a curtained area, “Crowley, this- we should not be doing this.”

“Hush, Angel. I'm going to show you a night to remember.”

“And fulfill your 'quick temptation' while you're at it.”

Crowley was smirking at him, tilting his head up, “Angel, you- I'd do for free, all you have to do is ask.”

Aziraphale's eyes sparkled as he watched Crowley smirking before he suddenly pressed forward to push his lips against the Demon's, he pulled away at the gasp, “I'm sorry, that must have been-”

“Angel, thissss time, more tongue. It's even better with tongue,” Aziraphale's eyes widened as Crowley smirked and kissed him back.

Aziraphale moaned at the first slip of tongue against his, “Wait, does it- hurt you?”

“No, Angel, no Blessings, just an adorable little temptation.”

“Starting without me?” They pulled apart, “Don't stop on my account, but it is your time...”

“Lover, get over here, I need to grind against something, and my Angel here is worried about getting his love all over me.”

She was smiling as she slid between them, “Ready when you are.”

“Thank fuck for that,” Crowley grabbed her under her legs and hoisted her to press her back against Aziraphale's chest, “Slip right in, Angel. Can't keep a lady waiting.”

Aziraphale actually flailed his arms, patting at their companion's shoulder, “Um, how- I don't know the etiquette here.”

“I'll hold her, Angel, just, mind your grip. Would hate to bruise such a beautiful young thing, would we?”

“Right, um,” Aziraphale finally settled on wrapping his hands next to Crowley's. “So, just- slip in?”

“I'm well prepared for you.”

Crowley smirked as she gasped, “Slowly, Angel.”

Aziraphale looked to be about to pull away, she grabbed at his arm, “It's fine, it's always just, surprising when they first get in. No pain involved.”

“Good, I'd- never wish harm on anyone.”

“Now, your turn,” she smiled as she brushed at Crowley's chin, moaning when he shifted into her. “Much better.”

“Just, rock easy, Angel, we can learn our pace as we go.” Crowley thrust forward, Aziraphale gasped and grabbed his wrist, “Everything alright, Angel?”

“Perhaps, standing isn't the best position for this...”

“Right, first time? You legs will go weak-”

“Already have. Can we, lay down for this?”

“Certainly, love, just, pull out easy.”

Aziraphale slipped away, slowly before he collapsed onto the bed, blinking and rubbing his eyes as Crowley smirked and skillfully carried their partner to the bed, “How, should I be positioned?”

“Lay back, Angel, I'll set her on your cock, give her a proper fuck. I'll make sure you enjoy it too.”

“Right then,” Aziraphale shifted to lay down, moaning as Crowley knelt them onto the bed before he carefully helped his Angel slip back into the tight heat. “Oh,” he had to bite his lip, knowing what he'd say would be a complete mood killer for his partner.

“All well?” Crowley smiled at the nod he got from their partner before Aziraphale panted and nodded, “Good,” Aziraphale grabbed at the bed when the thrusting started. “Oh, so much better, don't you think Angel?”

“Yes, yes, oh lll- oh yes, Crowley!”

Crowley moaned at the feeling of heat, tasting how close he was to the Angel's 'Blessing' as their partner writhed and gasped, her eyes going unfocused as she clenched around them both. “Enjoy this, lover, I fear you may never experience it again.” Crowley moaned and thrust against his own orgasm, making her eyes roll back and body shake. He covered her mouth at the litany of old words she started chanting. “None of that, lover. I'm not possessing you, I'm just- pleasuring you.”

Aziraphale's eyes turned hooded, “It feels...”

“Pleasantly exhausting, isn't it?”

“Like, Evil, but- close not-”

“Yeah, Angel, I get what you mean. Like, feeling it licking at you without the pain of, trying to kill each other.”

“Is- is she alright?”

“She's, a little... shall we say 'receptive' at the moment, but it will pass. My presents will keep anything away.”

“That- happen to your, partners?”

“Easiest way to possess someone, is to tempt them into letting you in their body before they let you into their soul.”

“It, should feel bad, having... Evil so close.”

“Has it ever felt bad, having me close?”

Aziraphale smiled, feeling a little drunk, yet not, “No- not you, Crowley. Never you.”

“Care to do it again?”

“She- she should rest after that, don't you think? And I could use a bit of rest after that too.”

“Probably right,” Crowley smiled when he finally caught sight of their lover's eyes as she started coming back to herself. “But, I want you to enjoy how good a mouth can feel before I leave here. I must say, though, my best experience have been with men. They have a more, first hand knowledge that most women could never possess.”

“No interest in anyone eating any part of me, thank you Crowley.”

“Oh, Angel, sweet innocent, Angel. It's not for eating, it's for sucking.”

“Perhaps, next time?”

Crowley's eyes widened, “Next time?”

“If, you want there to be a next time...”

Crowley shifted to kiss him, “Yessss, Angel, sssay the word and I will happily-”

Aziraphale smiled, and finally had to push him away, “Crowley, your tongue is enjoyable but isn't that a little over the top?”

“You're complaining?” Crowley grinned and flicked his tongue against his Angel's nose while their partner laid sleeping close by. “Imagine what other wonderful thingssss I can do with it.”

Aziraphale smiled, “It's too bad I can never truly know... This was- enjoyably, Crowley but- we honestly never should have.”

Crowley got a look, “I should be going, got other places I need to be.”

Aziraphale frowned, “Crowley, didn't you have a temptation?”

Crowley held out his arms toward them sprawled on the bed, “Temptation accomplished, Angel, so is your miracle. You 'saved' this poor soul from being taken by a Demon, after all. And even Blessed her, just not in the conventional way.”

Aziraphale was still frowning as Crowley righted himself, “You're upset...”

“What can I say, Angel, I'm a Demon.”

Aziraphale reached out as Crowley ducked out of the curtain, “Demon, right.” He took his time getting presentable, smiling and checking up on their partner as she started shifting around, “There, there, everything alright?”

“Fine, been awhile since I actually had a couple I was able to enjoy.”

“We- we're actually not, he just wanted me to try something new...”

“Coulda fooled me,” she mumbled and smiled as she settled back into the blankets. “Feel free to come back any time.”

He gave a bit of a forced smile as he left.

-

Aziraphale was antsy, making Crowley a touch nervous, “Angel, have you forgotten anything else about Paris while I was away?”

They'd just settled their tab, the Angel having gotten to enjoy his potentially life ending, or at least discorporating, crepes. “No- just, I wanted to, offer a proper thank you for helping me, and- we haven't enjoyed ourselves, together, for- quite some time. And there was this nice man that was offering services to men in the alley on the way...”

Crowley's brow tipped upward, “Are you, suggesting we find, another- intermediary?”

“Well, you did say, men can offer a- unique experience. And we never got around to- exploring before. I- thought you were mad at me, so I- at least attempted to stay away. Once we, made the Agreement.”

“Angel, I wasn't mad, just, annoyed I guess you could say.”

“I didn't mean to- I just, new experiences, and, well. Angel's aren't supposed to partake in such things.”

“Relax, Angel, after all, you are giving Blessings this way. Just, an unconventional sort.”

Aziraphale finally blinked up at him, “You- you're right. No chance of procreation and offering a few Blessings here and there... Yes, you're right. Angels can enjoy Blessings after all.”

“Now, where was that young stud, I mean poor soul that grabbed your attention earlier?”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes even as he lead the way. “Don't... tempt him, I want him fully capable to agreeing to it. You know humans have their preferences.”

“Angel, if he's offering to suck cock in an alley, what we're offering is heaven by comparison... I can't believe I said that but you know what I mean!”

Aziraphale was snickering to himself until he noticed the young man, “Hello, sir. Um-”

“What my companion is trying to say is, would you be interested in a room for the night and some enjoyable companionship?”

“Beat it, this is my alley.”

“No, no,” Aziraphale cursed his rusty French. While Crowley just smiled at him attempting to properly translate before, “Why is it much easier to understand than speak? I never understood that.”

“It's how you think, Angel, it's not the first language you think in so you speak in the one you know. He means, we're offering paradise for the night, in exchange for some enjoyable company, preferably both of us at once. Think about it, a warm bath, fresh food, soft bed, what do you think?”

“Crowley, I told you, no tempting.”

“I'm making an offer, whether or not he refuses it is up to him.”

“You want me, to take you both?”

“Have you ever lain with a man, or merely gotten them off with your mouth,” Crowley nearly hissed as he grinned.

“Couple of times, not really my thing.”

“Well, my companion will have your mouth, if that makes you feel any better, and I've been known to change minds when it comes to sex. No harm, I can promise that, as for enjoyment, satisfaction is always guaranteed for my partners.”

“Said a hot bath and food?”

“All you can eat, though I do request not to gorge yourself, after all you will have a nicely built cock in your throat shortly.”

“Right,” he grumbled as he let himself be led away from the alley. “So, the night?”

“Yes, don't worry, we'll let you sleep when needed.” Aziraphale looked about to protest at the hotel they walked into, “Hush, Angel they have room service and baths here... which, set the boy up with one, won't you? I honestly fear what may be growing on the poor thing.”

The Angel wasn't too pleased with that but still went to get the bath started, “Soap and towels will be on their way, feel free to get started.”

Crowley was already returning with a tray of fruit and vegetables, “Seems a bit underfed.”

“I'm starting to change my mind, perhaps we can leave him with the food and the room for the night instead? Seems- jumpy.”

“Angel, he's with two men that could easily overpower him... Wouldn't you be 'jumpy' too? Besides, your Blessing will no doubt make things better for him, if only in little ways.”

Aziraphale took a sighing breath, “You're right, I wish him all the luck.”

“That's the spirit, now, go get our little stray cleaned up, I have no wish to catch anything.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes as he grabbed up towels and made sure he had the soap as he knocked on the door, “Here you are,” he handed off the soap and set the towels in a dry place, “The food is here when you're finished.”

Crowley was picking at the grapes on the tray, smiling at Aziraphale's pacing, “Do sit down, Angel, you'll make him worried when he comes out.”

“I'm just- he said he doesn't care for men...”

“Oh, he will most certainly, once I show him how it's properly done.”

“Crowley, this is serious.”

“Angel, take a breath, have a seat. Watch for a bit if you want, I'll need to prepare him before you get involved anyway. Wouldn't do well to try for a stretch and have you thrusting him back onto something he's not ready for. Right painful, that.”

They both blinked up at the bathroom door opening, “Oh, dear I forgot to get clean clothes...” Aziraphale shifted away, presumably to get out of sight before miracling up their guest some clothes.

“It's alright, warm night anyway,” Crowley was grinning as the man shuffled toward the table and sat down in nothing but the towel. “This for me?”

Crowley nodded, “Just don't make yourself sick, I have no interest in cleaning bile. You are swallowing cock tonight after all.”

Aziraphale was frowning at the manic grab for food, “Won't matter, I've got control of that. Doesn't make me sick to shove something down my throat anymore.”

Crowley smirked, “Good to know. How well can you hold your breathe? My companion hasn't experienced a mouth before, I'm wanting to ensure he doesn't forget himself in the enjoyment.”

“He'll know-”

“You are not to hurt my companion... this is why we're asking these things, so no one gets hurt.”

“I just, pinch their balls if they're getting too rough. Worth the smack to get free.”

“Not here it's not. Just, give him a pat or something, somewhere I can see so I can catch it if he doesn't.”

“Alright,” was mumbled through a mouthful.

“Just, don't eat your fill just yet, you'll want some room for us.” Crowley smiled as he drug Aziraphale to a chair to force the Angel to stop panic pacing. “We're... passionate but harmless.”

“Right, so, on the bed?”

“Yes,” Crowley grinned as he shifted away to get the supplies, making Aziraphale furrow his brows at him. “What? We need to be well prepared. You cleaned up well, right?”

“Yeah, how, do you want me?”

“All fours, facing my companion is fine.” Aziraphale looked worried as the younger did as he was told, dropping the towel, “Very nice... perhaps we can offer you some other wonderful experiences, Angel.”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale hissed, his eyes telling him to just get moving before he lost his nerve.

“Fine, perhaps another time, Angel.” Crowley smiled, “It'll be cool at first, then you'll feel the stretch.”

“Just get it over with-”

Crowley was grinning as he skillfully breached their companion, smiling as he shifted around before the other gasped, “There it is, just, tell me if I'm going to fast.”

“What- are you doing?”

“You see, men have this wonderful little place inside them, here, feels glorious when it's properly stimulated.” Crowley smiled and started spreading him wider as the other panted and started shifting back onto his fingers. “Enjoying yourself?”

“Oh g-” Aziraphale's hand covered his mouth before he could get the word out.

“Thank you, Angel.”

“Honestly, that- unnerves me too considering what we're doing. You doing okay?”

He got nodding and lust filled eyes, wincing at the licking across his hand making him draw it away, “Never felt like this before. Don't stop, please.”

“Oh, I won't, don't worry. Just wait until I get in you.”

“We aren't going to cause him pain, Crowley...”

“Don't worry, Angel, just a little... demonic intervention.”

“He can't consent to this if he's under some spell!”

“He's merely going to enjoy himself and want more, no overstimulation and all the desperation of a cat in heat.”

“Are- are you going to need my cock, because, I'm- not going to make it if you keep-”

“No, dear, your cock isn't required tonight.”

Aziraphale caught the man's shoulders as he collapsed and came against the bed sheets. “Oh dear, are you alright?”

“Never better, still- need my mouth?”

“Oh, yes, and you're going to show my Angel a good time aren't you?”

Aziraphale was a little concerned at the sleepy nod, “Crowley, we may need to reschedule this, he's nearly asleep.”

“Come now, Angel, he wants it, don't you?”

“Uh huh, if it feels anywhere as good as that, yes, a thousand times yes.”

“Just wait until I get in him, then you can have his mouth,” Crowley snagged their companion's hair, helping guiding him to sit up and back, earning a gasp and moan. “There, feels so much better, doesn't it?”

“Yessss,” was moaned out as he reached for Aziraphale, “Ready for you too.”

“Not just yet, let's get you comfortable first,” Crowley shifted, letting his partner rest on all fours, earning whimpers and groans before he finally got them settled, “There we go, your turn Angel.”

Aziraphale knelt on the bed, pulling his trousers open and shifting forward to let their companion take him in. “Oh,” Aziraphale's eyes closed at the feeling of the wet slick suckling cavern, “Oh, dear.”

“What do you think of your first mouth, Angel?”

Crowley was grinning, timing his thrusts with his Angel as they slowly fucked their companion from both ends, “Oh- Crowley,” Aziraphale finally had enough, grabbing Crowley's hair and dragging him into a desperate kiss, thrusting forward faster as Crowley kissed and licked into his mouth. “Close, already...”

“Me too, it's it, fantastic?”

“Yes, oh, yes, little, little harder, please, suck a little harder.”

Crowley snagged Aziraphale's hair, “Wait, not yet, Angel, you got first last time, let me. Let me go first please. It'll, it'll-”

“Come on, love, come on, I can't keep holding it back,” Aziraphale's hips stuttered, groaning as he leaned his head onto the Demon's shoulder. “Can't, can't-”

Crowley cried out, hands slamming down to pin him when their partner started twitching, “Now, love, do it now.”

“Oh- fuck, what is he doing with his-” Aziraphale gasped at the sudden creeping feeling of Evil surrounding his thrusting cock before he came, “Crowley!”

Crowley caught him when he fell forward, hips still thrusting as he smiled and moaned, “Oh, love, he'll stay like this for a little bit, if you wanna stay where you are.”

“What is he- oh dear-” Aziraphale grunted.

“He's receptive, remember? Demon's seed causes the recipient to be receptive.”

“Feels like he's-”

“Speaking in tongues? Around your cock? That's because he is, love. Enjoy it, can't do much harm to a receptive body in this state, just- pull back enough to let him breath every 30 seconds or so.”

“Ooooh, fuck me,” Aziraphale finally moaned when he had to pull away from the sensation.

“Angel, the day we find a way to do it up proper, I won't let you leave the bed for a full year.”

Aziraphale smiled, “Don't tempt me, Crowley, I might just take you up on that.”

“I'll bind you to the bed if it makes you feel like it's not your choice.”

Aziraphale actual smirked, “I- rather like that idea.”

“I knew you would,” Crowley smiled, “So, round two, once he's had a bit of time and some food?”

“That was- we shouldn't take up his whole night... he does need to earn a living after all.”

Crowley rolled his eyes as he slid some bills into the dirty pocket of the clothes in the bathroom, “He will do much more than that, Angel. Your Blessing after all. And he took more than one, from what I witnessed.”

Aziraphale actually gulped, “Oh, dear, do you think that would be- bad?”

Crowley just laughed, “How could being twice Blessed be 'bad'? Hmm?”

“I don't know, I just- this whole thing is just...”

“Calm yourself Angel, I have news.”

“Oh?”

“I hear about these wonderful little things, they're designed to block the chance of pregnancy. Haven't been able to get my hands on one yet. Too many names for the damn things.”

“Oh? What's it look like?”

“Something that covers the penis and catches the emissions.”

“Mmm, sounds promising,” Aziraphale smiled sleepily.

“And you are going to take a nap... Best not do it here, as good as our companion has been, we might not wish to be here when he wakes up.”

“Right, so- back across the river?”

“Sounds good to me.”

-

Crowley was heartbroken when his Angel said the words, “You go to fast for me,” he decided the best way to handle it was to stash his 'insurance policy' away safely and pace in front of the safe door before finally resigning himself to head- somewhere, somewhere where he could get strung out on temptation, lust- get worn out, hopefully to the point of passing out for the next decade. Hopefully he could pull himself away from his Angel enough that those words wouldn't run through his head when he decided to wake back up. A disco perhaps...

“Crowley,” he blinked toward the voice, “What are you doing here?”

He'd honestly fucking auto-piloted himself to a cafe, one of Aziraphale's favorite even... “Just, decided to go out for a bite, I guess.”

“I- may I join you?”

Crowley smirked at the uncertain hand ringing as Aziraphale reached to hold the door, “Sure, why not.”

Aziraphale was smiling as he looked at the menu and ordered, Crowley just ordered a drink and his Angel's favorite dessert, shrugging at the slightly confused look. His Angel's smile fell when he handed off the menu and settled his eyes on him, “I'm sorry about what I said... I-”

“Angel, I know I move fast, tends to have to happen, for me at least. Have I- gone too fast, with- everything?”

“It's just- holy water, Crowley, why?!”

Crowley sighed, “Angel, it's not a suicide pill, it's insurance.”

“It's death in a bloody bottle, Crowley.”

“Exactly, Angel, but it's not for me. It's so- I have a chance-”

“A chance to what?”

“Escape, it's so I can get a head start, should I get discovered.”

Aziraphale sighed, “I still don't like it.”

“I know, Angel, but it's necessary. All this- everything, could go tits up and then, you need all the help you can get when it does.” He was smiling when the Angel's eyes fell onto the plate being set in front of him, it was as if everything else just fell away, “You truly enjoy food, don't you?”

“It's just, so many different flavors and textures, and additions. Even if it's made the same way every time, little things can be done to make it better, or change it to something new. Don't you enjoy food?”

Crowley smiled as he nudged the dish set in front of him to the side, “Sometimes, when the mood strikes.”

“So, what were you planning, tonight I mean? Aside from the caper.”

“Honestly? I was thinking, hit up a Disco, try some new things, probably drag home in the wee hours drunk or high.”

“Well, Discos aren't really my thing. I did have an idea, but then you- I heard rumors of your little, endeavor.”

“Oh, like what?”

Aziraphale blinked around at the few, closing hours, patrons before slipping the small box over to Crowley, “I finally figured out what you were looking for... in, Paris?”

Crowley blinked at the box, snatching it before the Angel could pull it back and grinning as he slid it into his pocket, “You know, they're not fool proof.”

“I know, they can still fail, but- with a little... Miracle, perhaps?”

“Oh, Angel, remember what I promised, in Paris?”

“I- have to report back, I'm scheduled to in 36 hours at least. So, we may have to rain check that.”

Crowley just kept giving him that look as he finished his meal, and the dessert the Demon had ordered when it was shoved toward him, “You think I'm going to let you go after giving me thosssse, Angel?”

Aziraphale bit his lip as he tipped his eyes up, blushing, “I have to report in, or they'll get suspicious.”

“Well, I suppose I could let you loose for a few hourssss, if you make it worth my wile.”

Aziraphale grinned, eyes sparkling as he tilted his head up again, “I- haven't experienced the receiving end of anything just yet. If, that's something you'd enjoy.”

“Angel, you better settle the check, before I throw you over thissss table and make them 'forget' we're here... I want to be in a bed the firssst time I ravage you.”

Aziraphale was frantic nodding as he quickly settled it, while Crowley chuckled and headed toward the door, “So, we- need things, don't we?”

“Don't worry, Angel, I have them all at the flat. Come along,” Crowley was grinning as he headed for his car. Aziraphale was quick on his heels, “Still think I go too fast?”

“Hush up and drive, you vial tempter.”

Crowley cackled as he slammed it into gear and took off. “Your vial tempter.”

Aziraphale was giving him eyes the whole way, making him finally grab him up and out of the car once it was parked, “Crowley, is this really necessary?!”

“Yes, for the next 24 hours you are now my prisoner,” Aziraphale actually laughed and stopped resisting. “After that, you'll never want to leave.”

“I already don't, my love.”

Crowley growled as he threw him onto the bed, “I don't know what part of you I want first...”

“All of them, we have time, after all.”

Crowley tossed the box onto his Angel's chest, making him flinch, as he started stripping him. “We only have so many condoms.”

“We- just have to keep track of who used which one, is all. Can, duplicate them now that we know what they are.”

“Frivolous Miracles, Angel?”

“We've waited, and simulated this moment for how many thousands of years, Crowley? In no way is this 'frivolous'.” Crowley was grinning as he pulled off his Angel's pants, “I'm so glad I waited for this.”

Crowley froze and blinked, “Waited? You've never-”

Aziraphale smiled and shook his head, “Only with you, or- when I was alone, thinking of you.”

Crowley growled against his Angel's neck as he kissed and licked at it, “You better fix those up right, because when I get back... your body won't remember any shape but my cock in it.”

Aziraphale moaned and thrust, “Promise?”

Crowley pounced, letting the lubricant fall beside them as he started tearing at the box and kissing his Angel before he finally was able to get one of the small circles loose, “Now, make sure you make it unable to fail, Angel, wouldn't wish to hurt you-”

Aziraphale smiled as he took Crowley's hand, grinning wide as he blew on it, eyes never leaving the Demon's as it glimmered, “Fuck me, love. Bind me down, make me forget what it's like to not be on your cock. Make me crave it every moment it's outside of me.”

“And I'm the 'vial tempter',” Crowley was grinning at his squirming Angel.

“Temptation accomplished, now please Love, I want you inside me.”

Crowley growled, “The greatest thing in the World, and I can't even mention it, to anyone.”

Aziraphale arched as Crowley first pressed as lube slick finger into him, “What are you going on about?”

“Angel, you, here, begging for my cock. It's- the ultimate temptation, right here in my bed. And, I can never even take any credit for it, I can't even brag about how good my Lover is. I could never risk losing you...”

“And here you are, a Demon, that even Heaven wants under surveillance because of your wily ways, and I can never even say for certain that you were... incapacitated, because I'd have to admit that it was because we were busy going at it like horny rabbits.”

“Same boat, I suppose,” Crowley was grinning as he pulled the annoying barrier between him and his Angel before finally pushing in.

“Oh,” was gasped out as Aziraphale's back arched and his wings fought against being pinned between his back and the bed.

“That good, Love?” Crowley thrust a few times, grinning when he saw his Angel's eyes begin to glow, “Let go, Angel, it feelssss sssso wonderful.”

Aziraphale reached out, making Crowley smiled at the divots began to appear, littering his Angel's body, “Crowley.”

Crowley groaned, feeling his own wings open, feeling the shift begin as he stared down at his pleasured Angel as the eyes began to open, “Love, it's okay, stop fighting. I can- stand your light, your form.”

The glow started, his skin illuminating as he reached to hold his cheek, “You too Love, your scales are so, beautiful.”

Crowley finally had to turn away from the blinding light, eyes turning upward as the shadows of wings moved against the ceiling before he hissed and came at the feeling of feathers surrounding him...

“You alright, Love?” Crowley blinked the spots away, humming and curling against the heat against his side. “Seems we found another little- hangup to our coupling...”

It took him rearing up to glare back at his coils, so it seemed they did. The great serpant flopped back onto his Angel's chest, earning a chuckle. “Can we do it again, Love? When you're ready? Maybe this time a blind fold?”

Crowley rolled onto his back, muscles tensing and relaxing at his Angel's hand running along his belly, “Love? Can you- I'd hate to have forced you into that form... can you, talk to me?”

Crowley flicked his long tongue out, stroking it over his Angel's cheek. _Ssssoooo much, want to jussst curl around you and sssstay like this. Can we? For the next decade?_

“As much as I'd love to, Love, can you please at least try to change back? So I know I didn't harm you?”

Crowley hissed in annoyance as he flopped back onto his stomach, throwing his weight to make his Angel gasp and glare in annoyance, before rearing back and straddling his Angel, “There, are you happy now? You may have ruined me, Angel, but you did not harm me.”

“Oh thank... someone, I feared you'd been injured.” Crowley blinked as he was drug down into a hug, “You felt so good inside me, I just- couldn't control myself. I- I actually forgot, everything for a moment and just- feeling you, your... essence so deep, so close, creeping its way deeper the longer you were inside me.”

Crowley smiled, “The same, Angel, feeling your- light, creeping, warming me, I just couldn't help myself but to bask in your warmth.”

Aziraphale smiled, “I, disposed of the condoms while you were out.”

“The whole box? Why!”

“No, Love, the, used ones. Didn't want to risk spillage and your, serpent form seems to, um.”

Crowley groaned as he curled up next to his Angel and yawned wide enough his jaw cracked and snapped back into place, “Right, retracted once I'd finished.”

Aziraphale blushed and smiled, “And it was, shaped... rather enjoyably.”

Crowley blinked, “What?!”

“You, hadn't finished until you'd, changed. I, rather enjoyed it.”

Crowley groaned and hid his face against his Angel's neck, “Can we, never mention that happened again?”

“Well, I won't really have anyone I could mention it to, but... What if I asked you to do it again?”

Crowley was blinking, “What?”

“I- rather enjoyed you- spreading inside me, each time you thrust in.”

Crowley sighed as he rubbed his eyes, “I, didn't realize I'd relaxed that much.”

“Is, that a 'no'?”

“No, Angel, it's not a no, I just, usually have more control than that.”

Aziraphale was grinning, “It's a good thing I'd miracled these to be unbreakable or else you would have split it in half... though it felt wonderful when you did it to me.”

Crowley looked worried, “Did I, hurt you, Angel?”

“Not at all, Love, just a bit of a pleasant and pleasurable surprise. One I hope would occur again?”

Crowley yawned again, “Perhaps after a nap, that was-”

“I don't wish to make you upset, but, to me, that was Heavenly.”

Crowley grunted, “Not much else a perfect moment can really be compared to, is there?”

“Mhm,” Aziraphale smiled as he nuzzled him back before summoning a blanket for them.

-

Brother Francis had nodded off while reading, it was getting late, when Nanny came calling. He jolted awake at the door slamming. “Huh? Who is it,” was called as he shuffled to get upright from his chair, blasted broken down, over comfortable thing, in time to see that grinning little vixen saunter in. “Oh, Nanny Ashtoreth, everything alright at the house?”

“Warlock is asleep, and I'm bored. Know anything to pass the time?”

He chuckled, “Well, a good book and a warm cup of tea always help me.”

She tilted her head upward before giving him a shove back into his chair, “I was thinking more, physical things to pass the time.” She climbed onto him, hiking her skirt high enough to see the garters, “And do us both a favor, drop the silly act and get rid of those bloody teeth... I have no interest in dealing with kissing you with them.”

Aziraphale guffawed before sighing, “Here I thought we were role playing, my Love.”

“No- just, good ol' fashion, fucking.”She grabbed at his collar, smiling as 'Brother Francis' fell away, “Ah, there's my Angel.” She kissed him, moaning as she ground against him, “Please tell me you have them?”

“I do, Love, even better, the humans have started making them in so many more sizes, flavors, and item count,” Aziraphale shifted to reach for the box. He was grinning when he finally saw his Love's eyes staring at the box count. “I- may have over indulged. Do you have a preference?”

“Thin, the last ones were so thick, honestly, your true form got me off before your ass could.”

Aziraphale smirked, as he pulled another box out, “We'll have to make especially sure these ones don't break.”

“I'll, come up with something for when the house freaks out about the light show, but I want you in me, Angel, now!”

Poor Aziraphale didn't even get a chance to tease or enjoy his Love's current form, she was so dead set on him inside her, she quickly got him free of his 'damnable clothes' and the condom on before sinking down. “Oh- dear, you're so, wet.”

“Been thinking about this all day. Wonderful fantasies of you, picking me up, slamming me into the wall and just- fucking me, making me scream, making me come over and over, oh Aziraphale!”

The Angel grunted, lifting her and spinning them, pinning her against the wall forcefully enough one of the frames fell from it, “Like this, Love?”

She moaned and whined, “Yes, yes, just- like this! Oh, Angel, I forgot how good it could feel this way!”

“You want to know what I've been fantasizing about, Love?”

Oh, his poor Demon would have to make herself presentable before heading back to the main house, her hair was in disarray, already laden with sweat, make-up smearing. “What, Angel, what wicked things have you wanted to do to me?”

Aziraphale thrust harder, “Catch you in the kitchen when I come in from the garden, and just- kneel down, slip beneath your skirt, and get a wonderful taste of all the things I find there.”

“Oh- Angel!” She arched back, eyes rolling back and Aziraphale felt her clenching and trembling, thrusting faster.

“Want me to follow you Love, or do you want another?”

Her nails dug so deep as she clung, “Take your pleasure, Angel, after all you've given me mine.”

Aziraphale almost felt like he'd failed his Love, when he suddenly came when she was so close to another, carefully lowering them to the floor when his legs turned to jelly. “I can't believe we did that,” he mumbled, “But was it glorious.”

Nanny Ashtoreth was chuckling softly as she curled against him, “Need to get rid of the condom, and need to clean up. Gotta check on Warlock before I call it a night...”

“He's old enough now, we might need to bow out before they notice something.”

A groan sounded, “You're right, honestly, I am over heels and pencil skirts.”

Aziraphale smirked, “You look positively sinful in them, Love. Could we keep a few? For when the mood strikes?”

She was smirking as she yawned, her jaw wrenching wide and giving a painful sounding crack before she flicked her forked tongue against his chest as she settled there, “I suppose the kid can't raise too much hell, if I stayed the night.”

Aziraphale was smirking, “It would- give us a reason to bow out... Isn't fraternization between house employees forbidden?”

She blinked and grinned, “I'm staying then. Sick of baby sitting.”

Aziraphale smirked, before Brother Francis guffawed as he held his Lover close. “If ya don't mind shackin' up with an old gardener.”

“Ugh, can we bury Brother Francis when this is over? He just- gets under my skin, always feels like he's about to quote bible verses at me when I speak with him.”

“That's the point, Love. He's a good, God fearing man, teaching young Master Warlock the same.”

“Lease he isn't the hateful type... hate those lot.”

“Mhm, should we move to the bed?”

“Don't you got a single? I know I do, besidesss, I'm comfortable right here.”

“Anywhere with you is comfortable,” Aziraphale smirked as he started drifting off, holding his Love close.

-

Crowley was laying back on the bench, drinking from the bottle Aziraphale had no clue where he'd gotten it from... “They're going to come after us, you know?”

Aziraphale took the bottle, “I know,” he took a swig as Crowley checked the road. “So, what's the plan?”

“We could attempt running.”

“Heaven would catch you or me on their surveillance and rat us out the moment they do.”

Aziraphale frowned, “You ever feel that you missed something?”

“Lately, all the time,” Crowley took the bottle back to take a deep swig. “Love, if we're going down... I'd rather it be in your arms.”

Aziraphale frowned when he checked his pocket again, still feeling he'd missed something. “So, your place or mine?”

Crowley turned to him, “The bookshop burned down, remember?” Aziraphale's mood fell, “We could go to my place if you'd like, or a hotel. Somewhere, nice, fancy, with all those wonderful treats you enjoy.”

“I think, your place would be better.”

Crowley nodded as the bus pulled up, “Come on, Angel, let's go home.”

“But it says-”

“It'll go to London, it just won't know why.”

Crowley had to nudge the Angel awake when they reached their stop, earning a smile and a tug as they left the bus.”Mmm, you wanted me?”

“Always, Angel,” Crowley smiled as they got through the door, nudging away the box, “Not this time, Angel, I want you inside me, I'm ready for your Blessing.”

“Crowley, it could hurt you...”

“I want you, inside me, filling me with all you are, Angel. Might be the last chance I get to experience it.”

Aziraphale finally nodded, “Only if you return the favor.”

“Of course, Angel, but I want you first,” Crowley pulled him over to the bed, stripping clothes as they went, moaning when he felt his Angel press against him, already hard and wanting, “I'm ready for you.”

“I haven't even, are you sure?”

“Yessss, Angel, make love to me.”

Aziraphale pulled his Love close, carefully and teasingly working his way in before angling his thrusts until he found what gave his Love the most pleasure, “Like this?”

“Yes, oh yes, Angel.”

He held his own pleasure off as long as he could but it was inevitable, “Crowley, I'm about to-”

“Yesss, Angel, give it to me!”

Aziraphale held him close as he felt it crest, spilling himself into the Demon, “I love you.”

Crowley's eyes rolled back, actually revealing white as he tensed up and shook in the Angel's arms. It took the Angel several seconds to realize the chanting was the same phrase repeated, in a language so old some Angels couldn't even remember it. “My Love, My Love,” over and over until the Demon finally seemed to collapse and blink, coming back to himself. “Angel?”

“I'm here, Love.”

“That was, why haven't we done that before?”

“What- happened?”

Crowley had this dopey look, “So much, love... I forgot what true Love felt like.”

Aziraphale nuzzled his Love once he realized he was good, “My turn then.”

Crowley's mood changed, “Angel, no- what if, what if you Fall?”

He smiled, “You just willingly took a Blessing from an Angel, Crowley. My turn, return the favor.”

Aziraphale was nudging him, flipping their position, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Oh, Angel, I love you-”

“I know, Crowley, that's all you said while you took the Blessing, now, come make love to me in return.”

Crowley finally smiled as he shifted his Angel's legs open and slid between them, “I will, Love.”

Aziraphale laughed when Crowley reached down, “I'm ready for you, Love. Remember? My body remembers your cock. It wants it inside it at all times.”

Crowley chuckled, “I completed the ultimate temptation-”

“And now you even have bragging rights,” Aziraphale smiled as he felt his Love slip into him. “Oh, yes, right where you belong.” Crowley started thrusting, earning moans from his Angel as his arms lifted up to cross his wrists above his head, “Pin, pin me down.”

“You Really loved Nanny Ashtoreth, didn't you?”

“I love all of you, Crowley,” Aziraphale squirmed when he felt his Love's hand wrap around his wrists, “Loving a Demon, means loving every part, even the Fire inside, the rough, sharp parts and the- oh yes, harder! Not just the, -faster, please, yes- the lust, and temptation...”

Crowley got to the point he was slamming the headboard into the wall hard enough to break away bits of it, “You, truly Love me Angel?”

“Yes, Crowley, I- I always, have,” Aziraphale's back arched as he sprayed between them, setting Crowley off. Neither could recall the effect it had on the Angel but they both woke up, grumbling and sore before turning to one another and grinning...

-

Aziraphale was worried, still, pacing when Crowley had actually gotten a craving for something... a frozen something no less. Now if he could keep the wily old serpent from unhinging his jaw to enjoy it that would be a Miracle... “Do you, understand what happened last night,” Crowley's question snapped him out of his worry long enough to blink at the cone handed to him.

“Some of it...”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I suppose we just- wait.”

“Never was too good at waiting,” Crowley blinked and frowned when he looked up. “That's not good,” he mumbled at the cloaked figure holding the scythe.

Aziraphale gasped and attempted to scream the moment something was shoved into his mouth, pulling and failing to break the Heaven sent bindings as he was drug away. More importantly, he could do nothing as Crowley rushed after them before getting clocked in the back of the head before his vision was blocked by the bag over his head as he was whisked away.

Aziraphale was in a silent rage when the bag was pulled away, “Gabriel, you could have just called, you know.”

“This isn't exactly a social call, you are being charged with crimes against Heaven.”

“Odd, I thought I was doing exactly as I was tasked when I was assigned to Earth... Continuation and protection of my Charges, or in this case, the descendants of those I was assigned to.”

That got Gabriel to blink and turn to the others, “You went against Heaven. Refused to fall in line and join the fight. Even sided with a Demon to ensure the Apocalypse didn't happen!”

“And you, at every turn, thwarted my task as Principality to ensure the continuation of Adam and Eve's children! What did you expect me to do?! I got NO order to Stand Down from my post.”

“I told you to-”

“You don't out rank me you pompous Bastard,” Aziraphale glared as he stood, over powering the others' hold on his bindings. “I report information back to you, I even run your errands on occasion. Little things here or there, but you in no way have the ability to pull rank.”

Aziraphale turned at the presence entering the room. “Oh, um, got what you wanted from downstairs.”

The Angel was pissed, “You do this, I'll enjoy my here after, but you will never enjoy your Fall.”

“Where the hell did this fight come from? And where was it when we needed it yesterday!”

“It was where it was supposed to be, between you, Satan and the family of Adam and Eve.”

“Just, shut up and die already.”

Aziraphale winced at the sound once the flames were released. “Are you sure about this. Demotion is bad enough, trust me.” He held up his hands and stepped toward the flame when they looked about to rush him. “That's quite enough rudeness for one day, thank you.” Aziraphale took a deep breath, _Until we meet again, my Love,_ and stepped into the flames.

Crowley sat, watching as Michael poured the holy water into the tub. This was it, there was no chance at talking his way out of this... “That's holy water-” His mind instantly drifted until he stepped back when he heard fighting, eyes wide as the poor, semi-innocent, demon thrown into the tub.

“Any last words?”

“Any chance at some salts, maybe a little oil? I prefer scented baths... No? Alright,” Crowley shifted off his jacket, tossing it at Michael on her way out, “Be a dear, make sure Aziraphale gets that.”

“Oh, you didn't hear? He'll be joining you, right about now I suspect.”

Crowley's eyes watered as he rested his knee on the tub, _Please just this once just- Let us meet again,_ he closed his eyes and let himself fall into the tub.

Crowley shot up, gasping for air once the realization hit... He was, alive, he was okay?

“He's gone native,” made him grin like a fool and turn toward the dumbfounded demons, “He's not one of us anymore.”

 _Thank you! Oh no Aziraphale!_ Crowley shot out of the tub so quickly he heard hissing and screaming, he must have splashed someone. “I'll be taking that back,” he grabbed the jacket Michael had brought back with her and swung it over his shoulders on his way out.

Aziraphale hummed at the warmth seeping in, shifting as it allowed the tension to ease from all the yelling and anger from before before he finally opened his eyes, smiling. He glared at the three now cowering back, willing the flames to bow and sway as if a strong breeze had blown through the room. “Is that all, Gabriel?” He stepped forward and the flames began to die down, “Because if it is, I need to get back to my post.” He tsked at the soot gathered on his sleeves, flicking it away, “And do yourself a favor, lose my number, I'm pulling rank, you're no longer the emissary between Principalities and the higher authority.”

“I'm the Messenger!”

“You were the Messenger,” Aziraphale grinned as he walked out. “Consider your last task as such reporting that to the records.”

Gabriel blinked, “He can't do that- he doesn't have the authority!”

Aziraphale was grinning when he saw the tell tale flash of bright light while he headed back to earth, “Aziraphale...”

“Not, honestly, a good time.”

“Good work, Aziraphale.”

He stopped and blinked as the light faded, before he nearly broke down. “Crowley,” he had to get to their meeting spot, he had to know if he was able to escape,,, He nearly collapsed when he saw Crowley sprawled out on the park bench, his Demon's head tilted back toward him as he smiled, “Crowley.”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley surprised him by rushing to hug him, “You're alive!”

“Yes, I- am, somehow. What about you, why are we still here, we need to get you out of here immediately. Come on!”

“Angel, they already tried,” Crowley grabbed him up again to kiss him and hold him close, “It didn't work. The holy water, it didn't work.”

“What? HOW?!”

“I- I don't know but it didn't.”

Aziraphale stepped back, frowning and turning to look toward his shoulder, “Crowley-”

The Demon instantly grabbed him in a bear hug, shaking his head, “I don't care how, but it didn't work. Angel, didn't anyone tell you never to look a gift horse in the mouth?”

Aziraphale frowned but nodded, “Right- well, it didn't hurt, so- it couldn't have been Falling, right?”

“Trust Me, Angel, if you'd have Fallen, you would know.”

“Right then, so, what do we do now?”

Crowley smiled as he held his Angel close, “Might I tempt you to a spot of lunch? And perhaps a few... let's say decades in the bedroom?”

Aziraphale nearly moaned, “Consider that a constant 'yes', no temptation required.”

“My greatest accomplishment as a Demon... and my greatest failure, at least that's what Hell would say.”

“What's that? Tempting an Angel?”

“And falling for him, all at the same time.”

Aziraphale frowned, “May I ask, why did you Fall?”

Crowley sighed, “I asked an apparently rude question. Still can't wrap my mind around it, why it made me Fall. I just wanted to know why She'd put so many beings on this planet, just to wipe them all out. For some, game.”

“Crowley, do you remember- before?”

The Demon rested his head on his Angel's shoulder, “Do you remember an Angel by the name of Azrael? Got assigned to soul collection, he just, fell into the bottle and fell into the wrong crowd... Stupid ass got mouthy about his station when he was three sheets and then- poof, not a soul remembered who he was.”

“Azrael, was that your name?”

“Long time back, it might have been,” Crowley shrugged, “But that's irrelevant, Azrael was the angel of death, Crowley is just an idiot Demon that fell for an Angel even harder and faster than when he actually Fell... Come on, Love, about those lunch plans.”

Aziraphale perked up, “Oh, yes, how about the Ritz? I believe a table for two just miraculously opened up.”

-

Aziraphale was sleepily smiling, hand brushing the scales as his Love coiled around him, “I think, I figured it out. I mean, I think I might have some idea at least.”

 _Oh? Do tell_.

“Well, provided the 'Great Plan' written wasn't a forgery... Perhaps this wasn't a test for them, but us.”

 _Us?_ Aziraphale smiled at his Love's head swaying in front of him.

“Yes, who's to say humans are the only ones God's testing? Everyone, both above and below, all turned against the humans in a heartbeat, because of some... prophetic work, that- not a one of them could even claim hearing. Not even Metatron made claim to it, just 'it is written' or 'it is to be'. Not once did he mention it being God's decree. Besides, the humans have no part in The War, why would she involve them? For some... battle field? We have entire galaxies we can choose from if we truly wanted to- declare a winner.”

_Where isss thisss going Angel? I wasss enjoying a peaccceful ssssleep._

“What I mean is, All of heaven just- stopped doing their job after they heard the Antichrist was on earth... Even scoffed at any and all information I attempted to give them on how to counter the Demonic influence, and potentially stop it all from happening. No one cared. That isn't what Heaven's about. We had eleven years to fix the problem, and every single angel just, shrugged and-”

_Hussssh Angel, you'll get your blood presssssure up._

“It all just-” Aziraphale huffed when Crowley circled to press a coil against his mouth, silencing his anger.

_We won, Angel. Not them. Not heaven, not hell, not all of thossse assssholesss that wanted it all to end. WE won._

“At least a few good things came of, all this.”

Crowley nuzzled under his chin with a humming hiss. _What'ssss that, Angel?_

“I have you.”

Crowley started pulling in his coils, making Aziraphale whine and grab at them before smiling as his Demon was straddling him, “You've always had me, Love. Whether I've said it or not.”

Aziraphale was grinning, “Now, about those _wicked_ things you can do with your tongue?”

Crowley grinned even wider, flicking his forked tongue out before shifting down his Love's legs, “I alsssso have thissss wonderful little ability to breathe when my mouth is full.”

“Crowley?” Aziraphale was grinning down at his nuzzling Love. “Could you- teach me how to properly suck cock? I'd greatly enjoy doing it right, when I get on my knees for you.”

“Oh, Angel, what did I ever do to deserve you?”

Aziraphale smiled, “So much... It would take at least a century to list them all.”


End file.
